I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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