Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
