Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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