I think im going to throw up on grandma
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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