Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
