She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
