so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
