i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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