p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
