Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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