How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How's work?
Spinning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
