If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Who died my cat blue again?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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