I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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