I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
