We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
