yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
