My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
