She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
