Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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