This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
