I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
