windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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