I can text with my tongue
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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