beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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