They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
