Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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