I'm eating all of the evidence.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
