I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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