Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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