so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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