Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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