I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
