I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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