Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
