Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
porn star boner night. come get it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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