you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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