Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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