well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
