It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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