Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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