I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
