she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
