How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
