My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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