I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
