Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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