Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
