God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
