Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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