dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there's paper in my vomit.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
