You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
