he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
